...And a Happy New Year!

January 6, 2013 marks the 5th anniversary of the day I met Stephen Wayne Murray. I had decided to start attending the singles student ward since I was going to start classes at BSU, it was my first Sunday. I went with one of my best friends Lauren Browne (now Mair) and the only person I recognized was one of my sisters best friends Sierra Kinney (now Davis). We sat by Sierra with no worries, Sierra knew everyone. I met so many people! It felt like a fresh start and I welcomed it as well as all the new faces with wide open arms! We were in Relief Society, and all the sudden to my surprise there he was. With a LOT of confidence he strolled to the front of the class and the President allowed him to make his announcement. He was having a movie night at his house in Star and called it “the star trek” since it was easily a 30 minute drive out there. Sierra said we should go and I agreed. When we got to his house there were a lot of the same faces from church but still new ones! I got the opportunity to get to know the new faces I met that day. Nate Thueson was one of those faces and also Stephens room mate. He decided to give me the grand tour. We made our way around the rooms and then headed up stairs and there he was again, at the top of the stairs lighting a candle. He greeted us with and when he turned to look at us he burned his hand on the lighter. Without thinking or having control of my actions I grabbed his hand and kissed the burn. I think I stunned all three of us. Then Nate took my arm and continued my tour. It was hilarious with the perfect amount and awkwardness; I still didn’t even know his name. We came back down stairs and later Nate introduced him as Mr. November. He was in a calendar for the Fire Department and was pretty proud of it. He continued to show me said calendar. I thought he was full of himself. Ha! Anyway the night went on, Nate asked me out and we ended up going on a few dates which complicated things with his best friend, Mr. November. But we continued as friends through 2008 and in September, when I gather the proper amount of time had passed, he finally FINALLY asked me out. I’m forever grateful for those 9 months of friendship. I grew up a lot, mainly because I was 18-19 years old. I got to know him in a non threatening way so when we started dating the transition was seamless. Though in the beginning I did not want to get married not just not to him but not at all! Obviously he won me over and changed my heart. Another thing I am forever grateful for. I always enjoy the beginning of the year even though I have never been into the whole resolution thing. I like to start new goals all year round, not just at the start. But this year my resolution is simple: Be the best I can be. For Stephen, for Charlee and Bear and for myself. 2012 was verrry good to me. Full of transitions and fresh starts. Right now its hard to picture the end of 2013 or where we will be, right now I look forward to everyday and surviving the chaos that I know is only going to increase! But I welcome the journey! And know there will be plenty of joy in it. Happy new year to you and yours.

Murray Christmas

This year the Murray family decided we were having a white Christmas! Stephen and I got extra brave and decided to make the trip up to New Meadows (30 min past McCall) to the family Ranch. The roads were terrible, so by the time we made it to McCall the kids were starving. So we stopped at the moxie java to get some warm water to heat up bottles and feed them before continuing to the ranch. Well, they were closing in 5 minutes so we told the ladies we would just take it to go so we could feed them in the car. It was a mother and daughter working, the daughter had just driven down from Moscow to be with her family for Christmas and they were so sweet. They insisted we stay as long as we’d like. We felt bad for the inconvenience so I told Stephen to go buy us hot Chocolate and tip them well. Well they wouldn’t take any of our money, gave us free hot chocolate asked if we needed anything else and said they were blessed that we came in that night. We got the babies out of their seats to show them and they Just started hugging each other and crying and couldn’t believe how small and cute they were! It was the sweetest thing! They kept coming over to check on us and look at them. It was so sweet. They thanked us and we thanked them and wished them a very merry Christmas and were back on our way. It is a very sweet memory. It was wonderful to be so secluded with the family, I feel most times when they come to visit we don’t get very quality time since we are always coming and going. We had great chats, long naps, watch kids play in the snow with their amazing uncles making snow forts and sledding behind the 4 wheeler, watched movies, decorated sugar cookies and other goodies, loved on babies, prepared and devoured way too much food and made great memories. And even managed to get some sleep with 5 babies in the house. We are such a blessed family. Christmas eve we had a wonderful family home evening lesson on the birth of Christ and letting him into our lives, my father in law CRIED reading a very sweet story (I have never seen that before) and we sang lots of Christmas songs at the request of my sister in law Sherry! On the closing song, away in a manger, we got to the last verse saying “bless all the dear children in thy tender care” and I happened to be looking at Charlee and all of the sudden the words were taken from my mouth and replaced with uncontrollable sobs. My thoughts immediately went to the children lost this year in the shooting in Connecticut. I could not stop crying it was just too sad to think of their families on Christmas, not getting to watch them open presents or sing carols or decorate cookies for Santa. But how great to know they are in Gods tender care. I look forward to Christmas next year when we can really start making our own traditions with our own kids. Even though they will still be so little and not know what’s going on, at least they won’t sleep through it:) I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas!

Perfect Love

My babies are 8 weeks old tomorrow! I have been amazed with how much energy I have again. Even totally sleep deprived I feel ten times better than I did while I was pregnant. I didn’t realize how much energy they drained from me till they came out. Plus it is so much more fun cuddling and kissing them instead of them kicking my ribs and my bladder. Another plus, I am so grateful for all the help we have had from very loving parents and sweet friends. These babies are so loved. I cant believe how quick the time goes by. I have never felt so grown up with my Husband, House, Kids, SUV…. The days of “when I grow up” are somewhat here and I’m pretty proud of where I ended up. People try to tell you “it will be different when its your own kids” and that couldn’t be more true. I thought kids were great, loved my nieces and nephews but MY OH MY do I love my kids. They are my whole life. I get so excited seeing them grow! They have graduated from newborn diapers to size 1 and their clothes are getting tighter and tighter. Baby Bear outweighs his sister by almost a pound now so he is definitely out of newborn clothes, but its ok I will take his round belly and cheeks any day. He eats 1-2oz more than her sometimes when I give them bottles. AND they went 6 hours between feedings the other night! Praise Heaven I cant wait till that is consistent! They are starting to make silly faces and go cross eyed and flash big cheesy smiles. Wake time is hilarious, unless it’s the hours between 8 and 10 then its fussy time. And right now they are trying to fight off little colds but they are eating and sleeping well still so I’m sure they will be over it in no time. Last week I got brave and went to hobby lobby, they did good! I love my double stroller that has clip ins for their carseats. Although I could barely make it through the door without being stopped 7 times. Bear and Charlee…you are LOVED! My favorite thing to do when I’m up with them at night is look at all their pictures and see how much they’ve changed. I’m surprised they still look so much alike. But I’m not surprised how adorable they still are:) I love parading them around, I’m so proud of them. I’m so lucky to be their Mommy. And now for a whole bunch of pictures!! A little Gem forgotten on the D day post...meeting my son

Look at those toothpick arms!

Daddys girl

They always get their hands out and have them by their faces or behind their head. So little!

Matching bow ties:)

Sharing mommy time in the moby wrap....I wonder how long I will be able to get away with this one...

Sweet Charlee girl getting burped by daddy

Sleeping babies

Daddy lovin

Such a big boy hangin with Papa Ray

Charlee and Grandma

Mommy moby time with Bear

"Everybody come see how cute I am"

It so fluffaayyy I'm gonna die!!!

Nap time in the swing

Charlee girl lovin bath/shower time!

D DAY

On November 8th 2012 at 8:00 AM I left behind the person I was to readily accept the person I was destined to be…A MOTHER. I was so blessed. The entire experience was really pretty great! Unfortunately we had to do a Cesarean delivery because both lil babes were facing the wrong way. At first I was sad but It definitely has its perks. As we were driving to the hospital at 5:30am I said to Stephen how grateful I was that we were able to avoid the chaos of Labor. No water breaking or rushing or stress… we just woke up and had a nice drive downtown and got checked in started my IV and got prepped for surgery. My dad was the first one there he was so excited! My mom and Stephens mom were also there as well as his brother Rob. I was amazingly calm about it all. Stephen gave me the most beautiful blessing the night before and I was really just anxious for it to be over and to meet these sweet people! Everything went perfectly. I was in zero pain, they put in the spinal block and got me set up and before I knew it Stephen was telling me he saw feet! I didn’t even think they had cut me open yet! I could feel them moving around but I never felt any pain. Charlotte head was still inside and the doc was holding her by her feet pulling her out when she peed everywhere. Bearett flipped and came head first…..also peeing:) HAHA Next I knew it was over and my babies were here and yelling and getting cleaned up so they could be in my arms! I couldn’t believe how easy it was. They wheeled us off to recovery where Stephen immediately started taking pictures and I finally got to hold my little sweets. Once again, my dad was the first to sneak his way back to see us and meet the babies! After I started wiggling my toes they moved us upstairs and we got to spend the entire day with our babies in the room with us just loving on them and staring at them. I am forever thankful for that day. Later, Charlee passed her blood sugar test and was able to have a bath. Brother on the other hand, was having a harder time. He wasn’t eating as well as she was so he ended up having to go to the NICU for a couple days. He worked so hard to get back upstairs with all of us! It was so hard to have them split up. And between feeding her, leaving her in the nursery to go feed him then leaving him to spend time with her…..mom and dad were exhausted physically and emotionally. I’m so glad all that is over and they are just doing so great now! Nothing makes me happier than seeing them together and happy and home.

This is Charlotte Ann Murray(Ann is after my middle name) and she was 6lbs 7ozs and 19.5" long.

And here is Bearett Wayne Murray (Wayne is after Stephens middle name) 6 lbs 19.25" long. I cant even begin to describe the transformation we have felt over the last few days of our new lives as parents. I have never loved my husband like I do now. I have never loved myself like I do now or been happier with my life. It is the most incredible thing to experience, I cant believe this is my life now and I get to spend it with these two precious babies. Nothing has ever or will ever bring me more Joy than the sight of their faces, their need for my love and care. I knew I would love them but this….THIS is so much more than just love. When I met my Stephen I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to find true love! To know without a doubt that I was meant to be with him forever and to know that he would always love me as much or even more than I love him! In the fairy tales at least, that is always where true love lies. But there exists an even greater love than the kind shared between soul mates. That love is the truest of love, and it is not found but it is MADE. When two hearts come together in love and become (in our case) four hearts. That is when you know true love. And they all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I'm a ticking baby time bomb...

Well, here we are folks. My last week of pregnancy. WOW. How do I plan to spend it? I have a few appointments for my final attempts at enjoying “me time” for I know this will no longer exist:) I have a mani/pedi, Facial, getting my hair done and a dentist appointment. Lets hope these babies really plan on staying put for another week! I’m obviously anxious for the arrival of our babes, but Im starting to allow myself some fears as well. I really cant say I will miss pregnancy at all, but the thought of not having them with me always is scary. What if they have trouble and have to have breathing/feeding tubes? What if they get sick? What if they have to come home on oxygen or a heart monitor? What if something happens to them? What if something goes wrong with the C section and I have to be in the hospital longer? What if we don’t have everything we need? Obviously you cant leave me home alone all day with my thoughts because it stresses me out:) I have tried really hard to not think about Labor and Delivery. Because so much is unknown and I’m having a C section anyway. But what if I do end up getting to deliver them and I’m not prepared enough for it? Deep breath. I know, I know….everything will be fine stop worrying and just relax. Well see mother nature is sure smart, preparing you for motherhood by not letting you sleep through the night. Even for fatherhood, Stephen is having insomnia too! Poor guy. But please.. we get it…. just let us enjoy our last week of sleep for the rest of our lives! Then I wouldn’t have all this time to think and worry and read things I shouldn’t. My doctor actually told me not to read anything or listen to any opinions about labor and delivery! Haha I could also go on an on about all the wonderful things I cant wait for… Like hearing them cry and seeing Stephen hold them and probably cry too:) Or just sitting and staring at them. Dressing them in all their cute little outfits and shoes. Being the one to comfort them. I’m actually looking forward to the game of deciphering their cry codes. Learning each and every thing about them. How they are different and how they are similar. Seeing who looks like who. Oh my goodness its just going to be so much fun. Ready or not. Happy Halloween everyone!

September Love...

There is a reason this is my very favorite month! Ok more that one reason. Lets start from the top? 1 Amazing weather 2 Stephen fell in love with Sidnee 3 Stephen married Sidnee 4 Football:) Only Boise State games 5 Fall Fashion 6 Nearing the end of this pregnancy 7 People are back in school and back in a routine so places are less crowded ...I could keep going but I will stop there. I have always loved september, even when I was the one going back to school. Now that I get to celebrate our Anniversary on the 5th it makes it just so much better! Happy Anniversary to my Love!

We hit 3 years. When we got married I wanted to wait 5 years till we started our family and Stephen wanted to wait 1-2... we ended up at 3 so both of us are pretty happy, Stephen feels he is "catching up" with everyone since he is 28. Our celebration this year was definitely more mild then the other two. Our first year we went to San Francisco and last year we went to Disneyland Hawaii and the bsu game in Vegas. I guess that was our going out with a bang:) This year we started out with breakfast (my favorite meal) and then had to attend a funeral:( followed by a nap, and then we went to wahooz (stephens favorite) to play games and mini golf. Stephen won the first round and then I'm pretty sure he took pity on me and let me win the second...or he just really started playing badly. I beat him by like 6 points! We had to get a snap shot of the lizard saying hi to the babies...

28 weeks, 29 now. Anyway, we finished the evening with a nice dinner and got to bed nice and early. We came up with lots of other ideas of what to do but goodness, we are getting pretty limited on what this pregnant body can do. Oh well. All that matters is that I'm married to the man of my dreams and all he wanted to do was be with me all day. I'm so grateful for him everyday. I can already see changes in him, becoming and thinking like a father. It is so special to me. I cant imagine the love I have for him being quadrupled and stuffed into the tiniest little packages that will do nothing but cry and poop and eat...and I will love them more than I can understand. Its crazy to think about. People ask me if I'm scared for delivery. My answer is simple...I dont think about it. I try to focus on how amazing the after part is going to be. When these little miracles will be looking up at me. That will make it all worth it. That will be my "thank you" for all I have and will go through. And its more than enough:) Yes I know its going to suck and its going to be more pain than Ive ever known but then it will also be the greatest joy I have ever known. And besides...its one day! One day we cannot wait for!

TWINNER UPDATE

On September 1st Stephen woke up and said, "hey our babies could come next month" WOAH. He is absolutely right, halloween will be 36 weeks and all along we have been shooting for the last week in october or the first week of november. It just really sounds close when you say it like that! These babies are doing really really well. The doc is pleased with how well and quickly they are growing, he estimated at our last appointment that they are around 2.4 lbs each! And I was 28 weeks. Apparently that is odd, but good, that they weigh the same. We had a little glitch...I failed my glucose test:( By 3 stupid points! OH MY AWFUL having to redo that test! They make you come to the hospital at 8AM FASTING and draw your blood right when you get there. Then they have you drink 3x the normal amount of that horrible glucose drink (and this time it was not cold, making it much harder to choke down) then they draw your blood again at 9, 10 and finally 11AM. Then you are allowed to eat. FOUR pokes. ONE arm. ONE terrified of needles mama to be. Gosh I'm glad that is over. As we were walking out I told Stephen that I felt like Hercules when Haytes drained him of all his strength for 24 hours. Haha! Can you tell I was a little out of it? Anyway...everything is fine now. I'm glad we made sure the babies are okay. And I'm happy to announce I passed the second test with flying colors. Also at our last appointment baby girl (who will come first) was bum first. She moved a ton but she kept that bottom down. We aren’t worrying just yet but if she doesn’t get with the program we may have to really consider scheduling a C section. Whatever is best for the babies but I hope it doesn’t come to that. We also got a pretty sweet shot of her darling face

Boy was squirming and we couldnt see him very well. Surprising, usually its the other way around! She also yawned several times. Cutest thing ever. It is so cool that we get to see them every visit and these last two appointments we got a DVD of the ultrasound. Modern technology is such a beautiful thing. I'm so excited for the next couple weekends! This weekend my wonderful friends and family are throwing me a baby shower! And next weekend is the Idaho open house for Mallory's wedding. Meaning I will get to see lots of family again:) So much to look forward to AND its Fall. What could be better?