A glimspe at our day to day

When we were driving to the hospital at 5 AM the day I had the twins I remember looking at things differently. Like it was the last time I would ever make that drive and see those things. Like the life I knew and loved was ending. I looked extra hard to try and hold on to the last memory I had of my “former life”. Very weird. But for some reason I viewed motherhood as a new life. I was going to be a different person, a much better person. And its really hard some days to feel like I don’t live up to that. BUT nevertheless I am surprised at the things that didn’t change after having twins. I thought it would be a lot harder. But things are going relatively smoothly. I have successfully kept two people alive for 4 months. And I myself have survived! We have a strict schedule when the babies will allow it. We still have weird days when one or both refuses to eat or sleep, but it evens out in the end. They eat every 3 hours, followed by some wake time where choose an activity from the following: we work on our skills like standing and tummy time and finding their voices and hands and grabbing on to mommys fingers or toys. We run in place and watch babies Einstein’s, have a bath (in the sink which is great because it forces me to do the dishes) face time with dad. We laugh and smile and giggle and take wayyyyy too many pictures:) Then they are wrapped up and put down for a nap till the next feeding. On days where this schedule is done well we are one big happy family. Mom is able to get things done and all is right. Or sometimes when dad isn’t at the station he takes them to the crossfit gym and mom gets to go to yoga or take a nap:) Those are also really good days. They are now sleeping in their cribs but not very successfully. We are still getting used to it. I have put it off for 4 months because simply their room is so far away from ours. Its across the house up the stairs and across the house. So I have been sleeping in the guest room upstairs and getting up with them 5+ times per night. Thus I am one tired lady. We had a really good night time rhythm down where they would go 8, 9 sometimes 10 hours between feedings and I only had to get up once usually at 5 or 6 to feed them. I think a combination of their new environment and a growth spurt is what has them waking up so often and feeding 2-3 times at night:( ugh. It was nice while it lasted. I am hopeful it will get better SOON. Before I go crazy preferably. Other than that things are going well, I love to get out during the day because the babies do so well in the car and in their stroller. Anything that gets me out of my living room. I’m so happy I’m a mommy to 2 very sweet babies. Their smiles are medicine to my soul. I make sure to make time just to sit and hold them and appreciate each stage they are in because I know they will grow out of it too fast. I love watching them grow. I love waking up to the sound of Bear sucking on his hands. Or when he slams his feet down in the pack n play making the whole thing shake and then laughs. I love the tender moments I get to experience each day because I am lucky enough to stay home and care for them. I know that no one could do a better job than me. I have a bad habit of feeling inadequate (what mother doesn’t?) but it is wonderful to share my life with the worlds biggest optimist who tells me often how much he loves and a appreciates me. And it always helps to drop them at Grandmas house for an hour and go to hot yoga where I can focus on an intention and find my inner balance. Its like a reset button. Nothing a little powerful squat cant heal:) Yoga is also medicine for my soul. The benefits aren’t bad either. And last but certainly not least, good friends never hurt. A sound support system or people who love you and care and are willing to listen while you complain about sleep deprivation and all the poop you’ve scrubbed out of clothes today. It’s a wonderful life we live. I’m lucky enough to share it with some pretty cool people.