In the end, you really start thinking about the beginning. I remember after the twins were born thinking I wanted to have 8 more of these sweet little bundles! Then the honeymoon phase wore off and toddlerhood set in and I rethought that plan haha. They were SUCH good babies and SUCH naughty toddlers! And have brought our lives so much joy and fulfillment.
Going into motherhood I was clueless and sorta naive... which I think you almost have to be. It will be so different with my own! My kids will never act like that! I would never do this/that/the other! My baby will be an angel! Haha I think you almost have to think that way... honestly if we knew EXACTLY what we were in for I think a lot less people would take on parenthood. It is HARD and certainly not for the faint of heart. I wouldn't change it for the world. It forces you to grow in ways you otherwise couldn't. But going into it this time.... I KNOW. I'm familiar with the birth and recovery process, the sleepless nights, the woes of breast feeding, the poopy diapers, the crying, the spit up, never ending laundry and trying to keep up with life! This time around with two kids! But I'm also very familiar with how my heart grows 10 sizes, the spirit a newborn brings into your home, how sweet it is to see their face for the first time and how you never want to let go or put them down because its like being in the presence of the most pure and holy thing you have ever experienced, how my love for my husband grows beyond comprehension watching him hold, care for and love on my baby, how you cry all the time - happy tears because you dont even know how you got so lucky to be blessed with such perfection. Adding this time - seeing my kids become big brother and big sister. I am very anxious to see them step into that role! I know they are going to be amazing. We already love her so much. I have a feeling we are going to wonder how we ever lived without her.
The number one question I get after people ask "are you sure its not twins again?" is "So is it so much easier only being pregnant with one baby?"
And I get where they are coming from but honestly NO... yeah nope not much different. I measured 55+ inches around when I delivered the twins at 37 weeks 2 days and right now I'm measuring about 43-44. Pregnancy is pregnancy, it sucks. And I know other people have it a lot worse than I do but I have never been more sick in my life than during this pregnancy! Morning sickness was more intense last time, I threw up daily. This time I just felt carsick but it was CONSTANT and lasted longer. I had really bad migraines last time, they returned this time but weren't as bad. But I did get the worst cold/sore throat Ive had in a really long time ON TOP of the nausea and that was awful. I got the worst flu of my life and had to spend the night in the hospital receiving 3 bags of fluids because I was so dehydrated. And now for the last few weeks I have contracted MRSA (a staff infection) in my sinus and my immune system is suppressed so my body doesn't even know how to fight it off so I'm just extremely tired and that achy feeling like you are getting a cold. Stephen also took on 2 of the biggest roof jobs he has ever done and had the busiest month. On top of packing up an entire house, moving a playlet & shed lifting them above my head over fences, moving and unpacking boxes and getting settled in a new house... while 8 months pregnant... and sick... it just has been the craziest month ever. I try not to complain but... it really was terrible and I'm glad its over haha. Things have gotten better now that moving is over and I started an antibiotic. I'm huge and uncomfortable, but I can still move. I still go to the gym 3-4x a week. Where last time I was SO TERRIFIED of being put on bed rest that I almost put myself on bed rest. I took 3 naps a day and just sort of sat around waiting. It was much easier last time actually because I didn't have any other responsibilities! I haven't swollen like I did last time. I am still wearing my wedding ring where last time I couldn't wear it past like 24 weeks! My face was so swollen I'm pretty sure I retained DOUBLE the water. I am a little swollen especially on the days its over 100 degrees outside but overall, I can't complain. I'm hang in in there. But just this weekend I have let myself be 37 weeks pregnant. I stayed inside to avoid the heat and took a nap both days Stephen was home, and I have plopped myself on the couch to sit and catch up on blogging and organizing photos on my computer. 3 more weeks to hunker down and really get prepared for this baby! Its almost like preparing for a natural disaster, making sure the pantry & freezer are stocked, making sure all the auto ships are set up and all the baby bows and clothes and necessities have been purchased! Her nursery is almost ready. My hospital bag is almost ready. I dont know if I will ever really feel ready but ready or not she will be here soon! And the rest will just work itself out.
*Monroe Jo Murray*
Born July 31, 2017
7:42 am
8 pounds 8 ounces
20.5" long
Dark hair
cheeks for days
Loved by all!
The night before she was born I couldn't sleep - of course, my last chance at a restful nights sleep and I'm up folding laundry to pass the time because I'm too anxious and excited! I made sure everything was packed and ready and we headed into the hospital around 5am. After getting checked in it was time to start the IV...ugh my least favorite part of this whole process. I hate everything about IV's. So of course I warn the nurse and of course she blew out my vein on the first try. I started passing out and seeing spots and sweating but she just moved right along and luckily went right in the second time. Meanwhile stephen is laying my bed back and faning my face with his hat for a good 10 minutes until I finally came out of it. I dont know why my body reacts this way to blood draws and IV's, it just does. HARD PART IS OVER! Haha. After waiting around and meeting all the doctors and nurses that would be assisting in my surgery things started moving quickly. They wheeled me down the hall and into a room - super bright, freezing cold, all white, very sterile smelling... yep it was the operating room! I made pretty good friends with Jeremy who gave my spinal block and felt at ease as we laughed and joked right before he put a gigantic needle in my spine. My Doctor was also very comforting saying things like "Lets hope he doesn't miss" haha. After that the hustle was on. I laid there on the table like I was the frog in a science experiment. Its so crazy how immediate the numbing is. They let stephen back in the room and I knew we were just minutes away now.
Last time I seem to remember the twins just flying out after the incision was made. Unfortunately this time did not go as smoothly. Baby's position was breech with her head in my ribs and her feet tucked up tight. He couldn't get a good grip on her. So there was lots of pushing and pushing (read punching and punching because thats what it felt like) to try to get her to move so he could grab her and pull her out. Last time went so fast I hardly had time to process what was happening. This time felt like forever. He kept telling me to breathe but you try breathing with someone pushing on your rib cage! The unfortunate thing is that I could feel most of this seeing as the block is mainly from the belly button down. My doctor could hear me struggling and asked if he could put me all the way under general anesthesia. I begged him not to, I could not miss this moment! So I toughed it out and just a few minutes later I felt the final pull and heard her LOUD cry! He held her little face over the screen and it was just this puffy squishy ball of cheeks! I was still in pain as the pushing and pulling didn't stop there but my baby was here and a welcomed distraction! They cleaned her up and put her right on my chest and immediately this calm came over both of us. It was quiet, peaceful and still and for a minute it was just Me and Stephen and baby Monroe. Tears streamed down my face and Stephen carefully wiped them. It was the sweetest moment. She was finally here and safe and healthy and perfect. We did it!
Welcome to the world sweet baby girl.
Charlee & Bear meet baby sister!
